Blame as a response to crisis ...
Blame is closely related to bitterness. Blame is the perverse consuming need to attach a name, personality, or institution to the cultivated anger which is bitterness. We have asked the question; “Why would we ever cultivate feelings of anger when they produce such bitterness?” In the same way we can ask the question; “Why would we ever focus so much on establishing blame when it produces an ever deepening bitterness.
In blame, nefarious motives are assigned to the blamee, whoever or whatever that may be. In a self absorbed way, we foster a sense of, “my life and happiness are important” and he/she, they, God, (fill in the blank) has no right to disturb that. Can you see a pattern developing where a faith-less response turns us inward and away from the resources of God and toward the poverty of self sufficiency? Whereas, a faith response turns us away from the sink hole of self focus and toward the love, grace, and strength of God himself.
Did I mention, to let me know when you are tired of my personal stories? My son Jonathan is presently in Nairobi, Kenya for six months of volunteer service. He is teaching in the African Nazarene University, consulting with student government leaders and helping in any way he can.
We got a note just last week, “Hey Mom I am very sick. I don’t know what it is, but it’s bad.” That is not what you want to hear from a son on the other side of the world. He had fever, aching, nausea, loss of appetite and was expelling remnants of human ingestion from all directions. Our biggest fears were malaria which would be with him for the rest of his life and typhoid fever which could be 4-6 weeks of high fever, pain, and weakness. The good news was that it was neither of these diseases. The bad news was that he had an amoeba.
I googled amoeba disease and the first headline I saw was:
“6 die from brain-eating amoeba after swimming”
PHOENIX - It sounds like science fiction but it’s true: A killer amoeba living in lakes enters the body through the nose and attacks the brain where it feeds until you die . . .
These amoebae are one cell protozoa that are ingested in the drinking water especially in developing countries. They set up homestead in the digestive system for an incubation period and then reproduce and make their way to the liver, pancreas, kidney and brain. Fortunately the amoebae in question were of the less virulent strain and have been routinely treated with amoebacide medication.
If these invasive parasites were not eliminated they would have multiplied and affected the whole body. Bitterness is an invasive parasite that will reproduce and infect every area of life. By establishing blame, we setup a target upon which to direct our anger. The result is an environment for the unwelcome invader of bitterness to multiply and intensify. We do not face the facts, rather we spend our time and energy blaming rather than responding in faith. Purposely turning away from the blame game and turning toward a faith response is a necessary step in facing the realities of life with grace, strength, and resolve.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
Panic
Another common and less than positive response to crisis is panic. We had a gang of young boys growing up in our town just outside of Boston. This was gang activity in the best sense of the word. These were the unenlightened days of the late 50’s so it was politically correct to play cops and robbers, cowboys and Indians, knights of the round table, NFL football but the thing we loved most was “raiding the girls”. The girls would be playing house or whatever other girly thing they happened to be doing and we would swoop in as marauding bandits, over turn their tea set, frighten their dolls and generally wreak havoc and misery upon their existence. Well we were enjoying our raid this one particular day when the ground began to rumble and here comes Mr. LeBrun. He was big and we thought ugly and very mad ... steam from his ears ... froth from his mouth ... coming to save the girls and demolish the enemy. Well it was fight or flight time and knowing that fight was not an option I burst into all out flight mode. I began to run ... and lo and behold he starts chasing me ... did he not know my older brother was the ring leader of this nefarious plot? I Put my head down, ducked into a neighboring nursery and began running thru the trees. He was getting closer, I could feel his hot breath on my neck. He was just about to get me when I found myself spinning my legs in mid air ... not unlike Wiley Coyote in the Road Runner cartoon. I had run straight of the precipice of a sheer cliff and was sure I would fall to my death, landing flat on my back after a frightening fall of at least 4 - 5 feet. When things get tough the easiest thing to do is panic ... worry ourselves sick ... do something stupid ... take things in our own hands ... run off a cliff in fear.
We don’t need to panic. We are not alone as our God is an ever present help in time of trouble. We are not alone as the family of God is a help and support. A loving God sends his Spirit to comfort, strengthen, and lead. We have a guide in the words of God and as we listen and seek the wisdom of an infinite God he will show us the next step to take when life shakes you up.
I am quite sure the next step taken in obedient response to the words of God will not be off a cliff. Then what we find is that our place of greatest fear and danger is most often the place of greatest blessing.
… our place of greatest fear and danger is most often the place of greatest blessing.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Real Life Ain't Disney World
I love Disney World. Every employee is ingrained with the core value that the guests are the most important people on earth. Everyone smiles. There is a sense of peacefulness that is not reproduced in the typical theme park. Employees do not rush into work, throwing on their apron at the last minute. Rather they are actors who enter the park through specially camouflaged doors. I love Disney world but I couldn’t live there. It is nice but not real.
People do not always smile at you. Good fortune does not always fill your life with sunlight. There are times when the darkness of pain, trial, suffering and injustice consumes your existence. Facing the facts, living by faith involves an acceptance of the trials and suffering of life … not a pain free life but a deep rich abundant life. Accepting the facts is more than a passive endurance of pain but is also a decisive turning from a self absorbed obsession/pre-occupation with personal comfort, convenience and pleasure. It is as we accept and even embrace the reality of suffering that we come to know and understand God’s working in us.
It is in the real finite struggles of life that an infinite God reveals his love, grace, and power to us as well as to those around us. Skye Jethani quotes Dallas Willard, “We are not to try to get in a position to avoid trials. And we are not to ‘catastrophize’ and declare the ‘end of the world’ when things happen." Jethani goes on to say, “the trials of ordinary existence are the divine curricula for spiritual maturity. These are the laser beams God uses to put our old self, with it’s misappropriated desires, to death and then resurrect a new self with new desires focused on a more lasting joy." In other words although I really prefer comfort and a painless existence … that is neither my deepest need nor the way of greatest happiness. My greatest joy is in facing the trials with the empowerment, grace, inner strength and joy of a practical relationship with a personal God.
People do not always smile at you. Good fortune does not always fill your life with sunlight. There are times when the darkness of pain, trial, suffering and injustice consumes your existence. Facing the facts, living by faith involves an acceptance of the trials and suffering of life … not a pain free life but a deep rich abundant life. Accepting the facts is more than a passive endurance of pain but is also a decisive turning from a self absorbed obsession/pre-occupation with personal comfort, convenience and pleasure. It is as we accept and even embrace the reality of suffering that we come to know and understand God’s working in us.
It is in the real finite struggles of life that an infinite God reveals his love, grace, and power to us as well as to those around us. Skye Jethani quotes Dallas Willard, “We are not to try to get in a position to avoid trials. And we are not to ‘catastrophize’ and declare the ‘end of the world’ when things happen." Jethani goes on to say, “the trials of ordinary existence are the divine curricula for spiritual maturity. These are the laser beams God uses to put our old self, with it’s misappropriated desires, to death and then resurrect a new self with new desires focused on a more lasting joy." In other words although I really prefer comfort and a painless existence … that is neither my deepest need nor the way of greatest happiness. My greatest joy is in facing the trials with the empowerment, grace, inner strength and joy of a practical relationship with a personal God.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Self Pity
Another memory… let me know if you are getting tired of my family stories. I received a call from my daughter’s elementary school. Christina was in 4th grade at the time, was apparently hurt in the play ground and the nurse was asking me to come and get her. Being busy in the office, I said I could get there in half hour or so, to which the nurse responded; you need to come right now! Of course I left right away, still having no details of the problem.
Apparently a two inch branch of a tree had tipped into the playground where the kids were pulling it back, sitting on it, and going for a ride upon it’s release. Christine was waiting her turn when another child pulled the branch back while she was in front of it. The branch was released and my daughter went on a completely unexpected, very painful and frightening ride. The branch caught her in the mouth, splitting her lip, driving her four front teeth into her mouth, and tearing the palate. It was a sight no parent should ever have to see.
We rushed her to an oral surgeon with a gruff, insensitive dentist chair side manner, which was more than annoying. I held her hand as he pulled the teeth forward, pushed them in place, and stitched up the palate all the while telling my nine year old not to cry because it wasn’t his fault she was injured. He was a grouchy old guy, which was the bad news … his being a good surgeon was the good news. We picked up pain medication and went home to wait on her hand and foot and help her recover the best we could.
Just about this time one of my sons came home, threw down his back pack saying … this was the worst day of my life! He began to tell his sad story of forgotten homework or unfair teachers or whatever was the crisis of the day … he was looking for some sympathy for his angst of his day when he saw his sister. Her face was swollen and bruised, she was obviously being pampered within an inch of her life … his countenance fell. Clearly his sister had sucked every ounce of available pity from the hearts of her family. Seeing there was no pity left to be had, he left his back pack and trudged wearily up to his room. It seemed like he was the only invite to his pity party that day.
What is it about a pity party that we enjoy so much? Pity, like complaint is another “path of least resistance” response to crises. Pity is the opposite of compassion. Compassion says, I feel your pain, how can I help. Pity says, I feel my pain, how can you help me. Self pity is an open invitation to a party that no one really wants to attend but they can’t refuse. The RSVP is not an option; it is not received in the mail but rather delivered in person.
Again, like complaint, pity is not a response of faith. Faith is facing the facts, part of which is the living through pain, inconvenience, injustice, or sorrow that accompany the crises of life. Self pity turns us inward as a negative, escapist, reactionary response to the insecurities of life. A faith response is pro-active, standing strong:
Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Ephesians 6:14-17
As followers of Jesus Christ, we are not without resources. Pain and crisis do not alter the truth upon which we stand. The good news of the gospel is an ever present reality. The shield of a practical and personal faith remains as a shield against the attack of negativity and temptation. We are protected by the helmet of salvation so that when we are shaken by life we can respond on purpose in a pro-active way. We will look further at some of these issues when we discuss, Living Your Faith, as a purposeful practical life style decision. But for now: Tear up the invitation …
Apparently a two inch branch of a tree had tipped into the playground where the kids were pulling it back, sitting on it, and going for a ride upon it’s release. Christine was waiting her turn when another child pulled the branch back while she was in front of it. The branch was released and my daughter went on a completely unexpected, very painful and frightening ride. The branch caught her in the mouth, splitting her lip, driving her four front teeth into her mouth, and tearing the palate. It was a sight no parent should ever have to see.
We rushed her to an oral surgeon with a gruff, insensitive dentist chair side manner, which was more than annoying. I held her hand as he pulled the teeth forward, pushed them in place, and stitched up the palate all the while telling my nine year old not to cry because it wasn’t his fault she was injured. He was a grouchy old guy, which was the bad news … his being a good surgeon was the good news. We picked up pain medication and went home to wait on her hand and foot and help her recover the best we could.
Just about this time one of my sons came home, threw down his back pack saying … this was the worst day of my life! He began to tell his sad story of forgotten homework or unfair teachers or whatever was the crisis of the day … he was looking for some sympathy for his angst of his day when he saw his sister. Her face was swollen and bruised, she was obviously being pampered within an inch of her life … his countenance fell. Clearly his sister had sucked every ounce of available pity from the hearts of her family. Seeing there was no pity left to be had, he left his back pack and trudged wearily up to his room. It seemed like he was the only invite to his pity party that day.
What is it about a pity party that we enjoy so much? Pity, like complaint is another “path of least resistance” response to crises. Pity is the opposite of compassion. Compassion says, I feel your pain, how can I help. Pity says, I feel my pain, how can you help me. Self pity is an open invitation to a party that no one really wants to attend but they can’t refuse. The RSVP is not an option; it is not received in the mail but rather delivered in person.
Again, like complaint, pity is not a response of faith. Faith is facing the facts, part of which is the living through pain, inconvenience, injustice, or sorrow that accompany the crises of life. Self pity turns us inward as a negative, escapist, reactionary response to the insecurities of life. A faith response is pro-active, standing strong:
Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Ephesians 6:14-17
As followers of Jesus Christ, we are not without resources. Pain and crisis do not alter the truth upon which we stand. The good news of the gospel is an ever present reality. The shield of a practical and personal faith remains as a shield against the attack of negativity and temptation. We are protected by the helmet of salvation so that when we are shaken by life we can respond on purpose in a pro-active way. We will look further at some of these issues when we discuss, Living Your Faith, as a purposeful practical life style decision. But for now: Tear up the invitation …
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Complaint
It was a father/son moment. My third son Jonathan and I were having a pizza lunch together at one of the large, not to be named, pizza shops. The bad news was the pizza. The good news was the pizza and the price.
I had picked Jonathan up from school and we went to enjoy pizza and the normal parental prying session. Why do parents have to get so personal! Anyway, we ordered our pizza, waited as patiently as possible for a lively junior higher and a busy pastor. (Neither one of us waits well) We kept looking toward the kitchen door with anticipation.
The pizza finally arrived, saying a very few brief words of thanks, I suspended my prying and we dug in. If anticipation is half of the enjoyment … we were missing half the fun. The pizza was cold with barely a brushing of tomato sauce and just a little bit too tough for my 50 year old teeth.
Being in an assertive mood, I called the waiter over and pointed out the injustice of having trusted such a fine institution to receive a quality product and received instead that which was so far below reasonable expectations. The waiter was all apologies and quickly returned to the kitchen. Ten minutes later we received our pizza, hot and steaming, with too MUCH sauce. Topping it all off, the waiter said, the manager says the pizza is free today. It was a very cool deal that my son was able to see me at my courageous best. I stood up for my rights and that poor waiter never had a chance. My son was seriously impressed about the free pizza we enjoyed.
Not long after we were in a restaurant with the family. It hadn’t been 5 minutes after receiving our meals that Jonathan, following my stalwart example saying, this spaghetti is terrible, tell the waitress we want free spaghetti. He had learned his lesson well … the squeaky wheel gets the grease.
We live in a complaining society. We deserve a break today. We deserve to be treated well. If we are inconvenienced, ignored, or even if fate deals us a bad hand someone needs to hear about it. When life shakes you up, the “path of least resistance” response is complaint. If we take an objective step back and consider the value of complaint, there is little benefit.
Henri Nouwen, in The Return of the Prodigal Son, has an insightful perspective on the nature of complaint:
One thing I am sure. Complaining is self-perpetuating and counterproductive. Whenever I express my complaints in the hope of evoking pity and receiving the satisfaction I so much desire, the result is always the opposite of what I tried to get. A complainer is hard to live with, and very few people know how to respond to the complaints made by a self-rejecting person. The tragedy is that often, the complaint, once expressed, leads to that which is most feared: further rejection.
I may still send my cold pizza back, but the salient point is that, complaint is not a response of faith and maturity. Complaint is wishful petulant thinking … wishing in a self focused way that I would never have to face the pain, trials, and loss of living in a world where pain, disease, ignorance, and sin are a reality. Chapter Four will focus on the faith decision to “live your faith”, as an alternative to complaint, escape, blame etc. but for now … the focus is upon complaint as a negative response to the crises of life.
It was a father/son moment. My third son Jonathan and I were having a pizza lunch together at one of the large, not to be named, pizza shops. The bad news was the pizza. The good news was the pizza and the price.
I had picked Jonathan up from school and we went to enjoy pizza and the normal parental prying session. Why do parents have to get so personal! Anyway, we ordered our pizza, waited as patiently as possible for a lively junior higher and a busy pastor. (Neither one of us waits well) We kept looking toward the kitchen door with anticipation.
The pizza finally arrived, saying a very few brief words of thanks, I suspended my prying and we dug in. If anticipation is half of the enjoyment … we were missing half the fun. The pizza was cold with barely a brushing of tomato sauce and just a little bit too tough for my 50 year old teeth.
Being in an assertive mood, I called the waiter over and pointed out the injustice of having trusted such a fine institution to receive a quality product and received instead that which was so far below reasonable expectations. The waiter was all apologies and quickly returned to the kitchen. Ten minutes later we received our pizza, hot and steaming, with too MUCH sauce. Topping it all off, the waiter said, the manager says the pizza is free today. It was a very cool deal that my son was able to see me at my courageous best. I stood up for my rights and that poor waiter never had a chance. My son was seriously impressed about the free pizza we enjoyed.
Not long after we were in a restaurant with the family. It hadn’t been 5 minutes after receiving our meals that Jonathan, following my stalwart example saying, this spaghetti is terrible, tell the waitress we want free spaghetti. He had learned his lesson well … the squeaky wheel gets the grease.
We live in a complaining society. We deserve a break today. We deserve to be treated well. If we are inconvenienced, ignored, or even if fate deals us a bad hand someone needs to hear about it. When life shakes you up, the “path of least resistance” response is complaint. If we take an objective step back and consider the value of complaint, there is little benefit.
Henri Nouwen, in The Return of the Prodigal Son, has an insightful perspective on the nature of complaint:
One thing I am sure. Complaining is self-perpetuating and counterproductive. Whenever I express my complaints in the hope of evoking pity and receiving the satisfaction I so much desire, the result is always the opposite of what I tried to get. A complainer is hard to live with, and very few people know how to respond to the complaints made by a self-rejecting person. The tragedy is that often, the complaint, once expressed, leads to that which is most feared: further rejection.
I may still send my cold pizza back, but the salient point is that, complaint is not a response of faith and maturity. Complaint is wishful petulant thinking … wishing in a self focused way that I would never have to face the pain, trials, and loss of living in a world where pain, disease, ignorance, and sin are a reality. Chapter Four will focus on the faith decision to “live your faith”, as an alternative to complaint, escape, blame etc. but for now … the focus is upon complaint as a negative response to the crises of life.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
First Chapter - When Life Shakes You Up ... just a rough beginning but any feedback criticism etc is appreciated
Chapter One - Face the Facts
Some of this is just cut and paste from previous writings ... to be edited
God speaks to Joshua and he doesn’t pull any punches. Moses is Dead … talk about blunt ! We don't like the bad news. Maybe you have noticed - bad news does not send an engraved invitation. Bad news comes suddenly - unexpectedly. When life shakes you up it slaps you in the face and it's the last thing you expect. .
God speaks to Joshua. Moses is dead - now it’s your turn. Think about it. Moses was one of the big guys. God had spoken to Moses in person on the top of Mount Sinai. Joshua had watched as Moses hand delivered the 10 commandments, still smoking from the hand of God. He had watched Moses deal with all the annoying whining grumbling people as he paid the price for being their leader. He watched Moses stretch his rod out and part Red Sea. It was Cecil B. Demille, in real technicolor and real life. Joshua had big shoes, rather sandals, to fill. Joshua was in over his head.
Face the Facts: Bad news is bad news …
We don’t like the news that shatters our plans and dashes our dreams. I did not like hearing I had an incurable disease. Immediately, I wanted a second opinion. There must be some mistake. Shortly after diagnosis, I was gathering information, searching online, educating myself on what I was facing. I received a large manila envelope from one of the PD research/support groups. It was stuffed full of more information than I ever wanted or needed.
The first thing to fall out of the envelope was a royal blue business sized card with bright yellow letters – with the words I AM NOT RETARDED emblazoned on the front. The back of the card explained that the carrier of the card was not retarded but rather had Parkinson’s Disease. I could use this card to let people know that I may have trouble with my words but be patient it just takes me longer. So the good news is that I am not retarded - the not so good news is I just look and act retarded. I had to face it. I had/have an incurable disease. I didn’t like it ...I don=t like it … it was/is not good news.
There were frightening financial realities to face. We had a plan for getting the kids through college and preparing for retirement. Over the years, my wife Brenda has worked as a home care nurse providing care especially for pediatric cases. She is amazingly gifted as a care giver and considers it a ministry. She loves “her children” as her own. I would continue as a full time pastor and as soon as our nest was empty or maybe even during the last few high school years, she (my wife? Brenda?) would work full time. This would help the kids through school and invest in retirement so we could buy a house and settle in hopefully near family and grand children.
The problem was that God did not check in with my broker. Possibly because he knew I didn’t have a broker but he didn’t even give me any notice. Our plan was clearly a good plan. It was almost like God didn’t get it. After all we had “sacrificed” to live in a church owned parsonage our whole life. (I wish I could write another book about the blessings of raising kids in a parsonage … yes you heard/read me right!) Hadn’t we given our over 20% of our income to God’s work in the church, missions, and various building projects and special needs. We kind of deserved at least a say in the deal.
Lest you think that “facing the facts” is a formula for feeling groovy in five easy steps, when life sucks … this was certainly not my experience. Facing the facts, the hard realities of life, is a decision but also an arduous never ending process. The salesman with the bad breath, this courier of bad news: whom I will introduce shortly, was banging on the front door … and I was not about to answer.
Michael J. Fox’s books, “Lucky Man” and “The Diary of an Incurable Optimist” have been an invaluable help in writing this book. Upon being diagnosed with PD the neurologist told him he had at least ten good years of production before he would need to step back and retire. I was 49 years old and kind of accepted the ten more years of production thing, in an “I’ll deal with all that 10 years from now” sort of way. I was not about to consider that in two years, the lay leadership would be doing most of my work in the church and that in four years I would be on disability.
In retrospect, I had been slowing down for a number of years. Weekly sermons which typically involved six to eight hours of preparation, now took 12 – 20 hours. My meetings with the 10 lay pastors, who provide practical care within the congregation, would normally meet every 6 weeks. These meetings were happening perhaps twice a year. For many years I had prepared a daily devotional follow up to the weekly sermon, hoping I guess that if my people had no idea what I was saying … maybe it would make more sense in print. Somehow I just didn’t seem to be able to continue that on a weekly basis. There were times I was plagued with guilt because I was just too exhausted to visit a parishioner in the hospital. I needed to face up to the reality that I needed help.
Letting go of that which I loved so much … allowing others to fill in and make up for my deficiency was heart wrenching. So many people were so responsive to the ministry needs of the church. The church where I served as pastor for 14 years was planning an $1,000,000 expansion. During the two years before my retirement (resignation?), the building committee met without me. Nominations, elections, finances, Christian education … most of the functions of the church were cared for by volunteers with my two secretaries basically acting as a pastor in planning and facilitating the activities of the church.
My effectiveness as a pastor and leader were clearly diminished. The good news was that I had a great excuse for my work, which was from my perspective was far below my personal standards. I will deal with the blessing/curse of an excuse more fully in Chapter Three - Count Your Blessings under … “it’s not all bad” . The bad news was/is that my excuse was an incurable disease.
I didn’t like it … and it sounds like it in a journal entry late one night:
I don't want to be like this the rest of my life. I don't want my wife to have to live with this stinking blank stare spaced out look. I don't want people calling the house wondering if I'm able to answer the phone. I want to visit all day Saturday. I want to go early to church, talk to people come preach two services and talk to some more people. I want to be part of realizing that we messed up the building program and there's a much better way to do it. I don't want to keep telling people that I am too impaired to do their weddings, dedications, and if they die they need to make other arrangements. I want to keep harassing with District licensed ministers on the credentials board. I'm not the sure if I like seeing them squirm or and deeply concerned about the leadership of the church. Probably both. I want to stay out late with some with nutty people without feeling that will be a wreck on Sunday because of it.
I am so tired stupid voice software won't work. I don't want to be someone different... I want to be myself. It is that too much to ask?
No
This is what happens when my mind goes hyper. My mind has just jumped in the last one or two minutes from going to Sam’s, going to the bank, going to the driving range, going fishing, going to the wake, talking to Louise, working on Colossians, working on the cycle of victorious living diagram, meeting with Gary, going swimming, working out, taking the digital recorder back, fixing supper. What do I do to short-circuit my head from this mind blitz?
This is not like me. It is why I feel lonely or mixed up sometimes. I keep missing myself... but I am really still there. When I’m writing... that’s the real me. When I’m goofing off ... that’s the real me. When I cried... I guess that was the real me... just didn’t know it. When I preach... it’s not a persona... it’s the real me (but God’s words). So when I miss myself I just need to remember I’m still there... for the most part I’m still pretty visible. When I am trying to help people... it’s the real me... but only when I’m not trying to fix the whole world. When I am walking in puddles with Andrew... there I am... and I think it is a real Andrew as well. When hugging my wife, marveling at Jonathan’s talent or admiring Christina as a gift from God ... I am most myself. When I ask for help from friends... sometimes too often... I hope it’s the real me, not manipulating, not overly dependent... hoping to be a help to them as well.
Anyway this whole weird situation is interesting, exciting, hopeful, terrible, strange and the working of God continues in and through the whole thing.
Many who read this book (excuse the delusions of an un-published wanna-be author) will have stories of parental abuse as a child, the lingering pain as an adult victim of divorce, teachers who are not fair, an employer who has thrown them away like a used rag, friends who destroyed their reputation, a pastor who betrayed their confidence, a diagnosis that is overwhelming. None of this is good news. The fact remains … and I seldom if ever use this word but … duh … bad news is bad.
Denial is not Faith
The first response when life shakes you up is – face the facts. Don’t deny reality. Denial is not a response of faith. Faith is not wishful thinking but rather a foundation upon which you can base your response to the crises of life. Christians have been accused of hiding their heads in the sand. In no way is Christian faith some sort of spiritualized denial mechanism.
You might say that faith is a crutch for there are times of weakness when we really need the love of God and care of his people. We need to lean hard upon that which is solid and dependable. But again, faith does not entails pretending that the crisis does not exist. Examples of people who are always fantastic ?
Denial tends to be sub conscious, an involuntary response. The premise of this book is that the response to crises can be on purpose rather than involuntary. Denial takes several forms.
Initial Denial
There are times when the news is so bad that denial is necessary as a first step in coping with unthinkable bad news. My son Ryan as a sophomore in high school had been having headaches and dizzy spells at school. We took him to the doctor who immediately ordered an MRI. It was on a Friday afternoon that my wife walked through the back door of our home (the parsonage?) with an MRI film. She was white as a sheet and nearly paralyzed with fear. The MRI revealed a large white mass the size of a softball on the right frontal lobe of his brain. We took him to the emergency room and after waiting five hours the neurologist on call said he was busy and would see him in five days.
We were frightened. We knew it was serious. But in spite of what we “knew” … he still went to the New York Mets games the next day at Shea Stadium. How stupid could we be? The facts were so overwhelming that we were unable to act as though we believed it. I had been diagnosed with PD a few months earlier, there was conflict and criticism in the church concerning a building project, we could not assimilate a brain tumor on top of everything else. He even went to school on Monday morning.
The good news is that I took the MRI to Columbia Presbyterian Hospital and my neurologists in the Movement Disorder Center dropped everything to call Sloane Kettering on the other side of Manhattan. Making like a New York cab driver I madly transported the MRI across town. The surgeon said get him down here immediately. By that afternoon my son was in intensive care at Cornell-Weir Hospital for Special Surgery. On Thursday, Dr. Souedane a world class pediatric surgeon performed the operation. The tumor was fully removed, unattached to the brain, and totally benign with no trace of cancer. We are so thankful for the doctors, surgeons and staff of these amazing medical centers.
Ryan missed his last two years of high school basketball but was able to play two years of college ball. It was a gift from God and he is now a social worker in Boston with plans for seminary in the near future.
The first natural response to trauma is denial. In an interesting way it is the first step in facing the facts. It is that time in which the facts are “known” but we act as though they are not real. In this sense, initial denial is a helpful tool as a step toward facing reality.
Denial becomes a negative response when it continues beyond the initial state of shock. There is a type of pseudo-Christian response which ignores the seriousness of bad news and tragic circumstances. The attitude is God is still on the throne and everything is going to be OK. Ultimately everything will be OK for the Christian. Later I will introduce you to an important tenet of the faith, “Cheer Up … someday you’re gonna die”. By faith we believe in eternal life.
The reality of heaven does not, however, guarantee that I will be healed of my disease in this life. I will attempt to leave you puzzling over the whys and wherefores of healing/non-healing in a page or two. Jesus does not teach that the life of a disciple is a life without suffering, pain, disease, and persecution. Living by faith is not denying the suffering but rather living out the life of hope and faith even if the suffering is not miraculously removed.
Any denial of the difficult realities of life is a denial of the adequacy of Christ in whom we place our faith. Jesus is the cornerstone of our faith. He did not come to live among us, so that we could escape real life. He came; calling us as His followers to get all wrapped up in realities of a world full of sin, oppression, and injustice... seeking to save those who are lost.
When you lose your job... face the facts. When you are stricken with illness don't act as though it doesn't exist. When you fail... fess up... face the music... suffer the embarrassment. When you sin, don't pretend it's a mistake, confess the sin. There's no way to deal with the things that shake your life until you look them straight in the eye. (pink slips, diagnoses, rejection, and other trials certainly must have eyes ... They find us so readily)
There are other less than positive responses to the trials of life.
Bitterness
Blame
Pity I am entitled
Why Doesn’t God Heal Me?
What About Providence?
Some of this is just cut and paste from previous writings ... to be edited
God speaks to Joshua and he doesn’t pull any punches. Moses is Dead … talk about blunt ! We don't like the bad news. Maybe you have noticed - bad news does not send an engraved invitation. Bad news comes suddenly - unexpectedly. When life shakes you up it slaps you in the face and it's the last thing you expect. .
God speaks to Joshua. Moses is dead - now it’s your turn. Think about it. Moses was one of the big guys. God had spoken to Moses in person on the top of Mount Sinai. Joshua had watched as Moses hand delivered the 10 commandments, still smoking from the hand of God. He had watched Moses deal with all the annoying whining grumbling people as he paid the price for being their leader. He watched Moses stretch his rod out and part Red Sea. It was Cecil B. Demille, in real technicolor and real life. Joshua had big shoes, rather sandals, to fill. Joshua was in over his head.
Face the Facts: Bad news is bad news …
We don’t like the news that shatters our plans and dashes our dreams. I did not like hearing I had an incurable disease. Immediately, I wanted a second opinion. There must be some mistake. Shortly after diagnosis, I was gathering information, searching online, educating myself on what I was facing. I received a large manila envelope from one of the PD research/support groups. It was stuffed full of more information than I ever wanted or needed.
The first thing to fall out of the envelope was a royal blue business sized card with bright yellow letters – with the words I AM NOT RETARDED emblazoned on the front. The back of the card explained that the carrier of the card was not retarded but rather had Parkinson’s Disease. I could use this card to let people know that I may have trouble with my words but be patient it just takes me longer. So the good news is that I am not retarded - the not so good news is I just look and act retarded. I had to face it. I had/have an incurable disease. I didn’t like it ...I don=t like it … it was/is not good news.
There were frightening financial realities to face. We had a plan for getting the kids through college and preparing for retirement. Over the years, my wife Brenda has worked as a home care nurse providing care especially for pediatric cases. She is amazingly gifted as a care giver and considers it a ministry. She loves “her children” as her own. I would continue as a full time pastor and as soon as our nest was empty or maybe even during the last few high school years, she (my wife? Brenda?) would work full time. This would help the kids through school and invest in retirement so we could buy a house and settle in hopefully near family and grand children.
The problem was that God did not check in with my broker. Possibly because he knew I didn’t have a broker but he didn’t even give me any notice. Our plan was clearly a good plan. It was almost like God didn’t get it. After all we had “sacrificed” to live in a church owned parsonage our whole life. (I wish I could write another book about the blessings of raising kids in a parsonage … yes you heard/read me right!) Hadn’t we given our over 20% of our income to God’s work in the church, missions, and various building projects and special needs. We kind of deserved at least a say in the deal.
Lest you think that “facing the facts” is a formula for feeling groovy in five easy steps, when life sucks … this was certainly not my experience. Facing the facts, the hard realities of life, is a decision but also an arduous never ending process. The salesman with the bad breath, this courier of bad news: whom I will introduce shortly, was banging on the front door … and I was not about to answer.
Michael J. Fox’s books, “Lucky Man” and “The Diary of an Incurable Optimist” have been an invaluable help in writing this book. Upon being diagnosed with PD the neurologist told him he had at least ten good years of production before he would need to step back and retire. I was 49 years old and kind of accepted the ten more years of production thing, in an “I’ll deal with all that 10 years from now” sort of way. I was not about to consider that in two years, the lay leadership would be doing most of my work in the church and that in four years I would be on disability.
In retrospect, I had been slowing down for a number of years. Weekly sermons which typically involved six to eight hours of preparation, now took 12 – 20 hours. My meetings with the 10 lay pastors, who provide practical care within the congregation, would normally meet every 6 weeks. These meetings were happening perhaps twice a year. For many years I had prepared a daily devotional follow up to the weekly sermon, hoping I guess that if my people had no idea what I was saying … maybe it would make more sense in print. Somehow I just didn’t seem to be able to continue that on a weekly basis. There were times I was plagued with guilt because I was just too exhausted to visit a parishioner in the hospital. I needed to face up to the reality that I needed help.
Letting go of that which I loved so much … allowing others to fill in and make up for my deficiency was heart wrenching. So many people were so responsive to the ministry needs of the church. The church where I served as pastor for 14 years was planning an $1,000,000 expansion. During the two years before my retirement (resignation?), the building committee met without me. Nominations, elections, finances, Christian education … most of the functions of the church were cared for by volunteers with my two secretaries basically acting as a pastor in planning and facilitating the activities of the church.
My effectiveness as a pastor and leader were clearly diminished. The good news was that I had a great excuse for my work, which was from my perspective was far below my personal standards. I will deal with the blessing/curse of an excuse more fully in Chapter Three - Count Your Blessings under … “it’s not all bad” . The bad news was/is that my excuse was an incurable disease.
I didn’t like it … and it sounds like it in a journal entry late one night:
I don't want to be like this the rest of my life. I don't want my wife to have to live with this stinking blank stare spaced out look. I don't want people calling the house wondering if I'm able to answer the phone. I want to visit all day Saturday. I want to go early to church, talk to people come preach two services and talk to some more people. I want to be part of realizing that we messed up the building program and there's a much better way to do it. I don't want to keep telling people that I am too impaired to do their weddings, dedications, and if they die they need to make other arrangements. I want to keep harassing with District licensed ministers on the credentials board. I'm not the sure if I like seeing them squirm or and deeply concerned about the leadership of the church. Probably both. I want to stay out late with some with nutty people without feeling that will be a wreck on Sunday because of it.
I am so tired stupid voice software won't work. I don't want to be someone different... I want to be myself. It is that too much to ask?
No
This is what happens when my mind goes hyper. My mind has just jumped in the last one or two minutes from going to Sam’s, going to the bank, going to the driving range, going fishing, going to the wake, talking to Louise, working on Colossians, working on the cycle of victorious living diagram, meeting with Gary, going swimming, working out, taking the digital recorder back, fixing supper. What do I do to short-circuit my head from this mind blitz?
This is not like me. It is why I feel lonely or mixed up sometimes. I keep missing myself... but I am really still there. When I’m writing... that’s the real me. When I’m goofing off ... that’s the real me. When I cried... I guess that was the real me... just didn’t know it. When I preach... it’s not a persona... it’s the real me (but God’s words). So when I miss myself I just need to remember I’m still there... for the most part I’m still pretty visible. When I am trying to help people... it’s the real me... but only when I’m not trying to fix the whole world. When I am walking in puddles with Andrew... there I am... and I think it is a real Andrew as well. When hugging my wife, marveling at Jonathan’s talent or admiring Christina as a gift from God ... I am most myself. When I ask for help from friends... sometimes too often... I hope it’s the real me, not manipulating, not overly dependent... hoping to be a help to them as well.
Anyway this whole weird situation is interesting, exciting, hopeful, terrible, strange and the working of God continues in and through the whole thing.
Many who read this book (excuse the delusions of an un-published wanna-be author) will have stories of parental abuse as a child, the lingering pain as an adult victim of divorce, teachers who are not fair, an employer who has thrown them away like a used rag, friends who destroyed their reputation, a pastor who betrayed their confidence, a diagnosis that is overwhelming. None of this is good news. The fact remains … and I seldom if ever use this word but … duh … bad news is bad.
Denial is not Faith
The first response when life shakes you up is – face the facts. Don’t deny reality. Denial is not a response of faith. Faith is not wishful thinking but rather a foundation upon which you can base your response to the crises of life. Christians have been accused of hiding their heads in the sand. In no way is Christian faith some sort of spiritualized denial mechanism.
You might say that faith is a crutch for there are times of weakness when we really need the love of God and care of his people. We need to lean hard upon that which is solid and dependable. But again, faith does not entails pretending that the crisis does not exist. Examples of people who are always fantastic ?
Denial tends to be sub conscious, an involuntary response. The premise of this book is that the response to crises can be on purpose rather than involuntary. Denial takes several forms.
Initial Denial
There are times when the news is so bad that denial is necessary as a first step in coping with unthinkable bad news. My son Ryan as a sophomore in high school had been having headaches and dizzy spells at school. We took him to the doctor who immediately ordered an MRI. It was on a Friday afternoon that my wife walked through the back door of our home (the parsonage?) with an MRI film. She was white as a sheet and nearly paralyzed with fear. The MRI revealed a large white mass the size of a softball on the right frontal lobe of his brain. We took him to the emergency room and after waiting five hours the neurologist on call said he was busy and would see him in five days.
We were frightened. We knew it was serious. But in spite of what we “knew” … he still went to the New York Mets games the next day at Shea Stadium. How stupid could we be? The facts were so overwhelming that we were unable to act as though we believed it. I had been diagnosed with PD a few months earlier, there was conflict and criticism in the church concerning a building project, we could not assimilate a brain tumor on top of everything else. He even went to school on Monday morning.
The good news is that I took the MRI to Columbia Presbyterian Hospital and my neurologists in the Movement Disorder Center dropped everything to call Sloane Kettering on the other side of Manhattan. Making like a New York cab driver I madly transported the MRI across town. The surgeon said get him down here immediately. By that afternoon my son was in intensive care at Cornell-Weir Hospital for Special Surgery. On Thursday, Dr. Souedane a world class pediatric surgeon performed the operation. The tumor was fully removed, unattached to the brain, and totally benign with no trace of cancer. We are so thankful for the doctors, surgeons and staff of these amazing medical centers.
Ryan missed his last two years of high school basketball but was able to play two years of college ball. It was a gift from God and he is now a social worker in Boston with plans for seminary in the near future.
The first natural response to trauma is denial. In an interesting way it is the first step in facing the facts. It is that time in which the facts are “known” but we act as though they are not real. In this sense, initial denial is a helpful tool as a step toward facing reality.
Denial becomes a negative response when it continues beyond the initial state of shock. There is a type of pseudo-Christian response which ignores the seriousness of bad news and tragic circumstances. The attitude is God is still on the throne and everything is going to be OK. Ultimately everything will be OK for the Christian. Later I will introduce you to an important tenet of the faith, “Cheer Up … someday you’re gonna die”. By faith we believe in eternal life.
The reality of heaven does not, however, guarantee that I will be healed of my disease in this life. I will attempt to leave you puzzling over the whys and wherefores of healing/non-healing in a page or two. Jesus does not teach that the life of a disciple is a life without suffering, pain, disease, and persecution. Living by faith is not denying the suffering but rather living out the life of hope and faith even if the suffering is not miraculously removed.
Any denial of the difficult realities of life is a denial of the adequacy of Christ in whom we place our faith. Jesus is the cornerstone of our faith. He did not come to live among us, so that we could escape real life. He came; calling us as His followers to get all wrapped up in realities of a world full of sin, oppression, and injustice... seeking to save those who are lost.
When you lose your job... face the facts. When you are stricken with illness don't act as though it doesn't exist. When you fail... fess up... face the music... suffer the embarrassment. When you sin, don't pretend it's a mistake, confess the sin. There's no way to deal with the things that shake your life until you look them straight in the eye. (pink slips, diagnoses, rejection, and other trials certainly must have eyes ... They find us so readily)
There are other less than positive responses to the trials of life.
Bitterness
Blame
Pity I am entitled
Why Doesn’t God Heal Me?
What About Providence?
When Your Pastor's a Ninny
What to Do When Your Pastor is a Ninny
As one pastor put it, “this is a tough gig”. I would submit that having a pastor is about as tough a gig as being a pastor. Once in awhile you run into a pastor who also happens to be a ninny. A ninny is a technical term defined as “a sincere tortured soul who loves God and is oblivious to a significant amount of what is happening in the church community where he/she serves.”
By that definition it is not whether your pastor is a ninny but rather how big a ninny is she. (I will alternate genders in case some ninny reads this and can’t sleep at night because he got more space than she) Most pastors have achieved some level of ninny-hood because: 1. People are afraid to talk to him 2. She doesn’t want people to talk to him. (Sticking to the alternate gender rule if it kills me and ruins the article (even more)) 3. People would rather gossip 4. People have tried to talk to her but he wouldn’t listen.
There are some important things to remember:
God calls ninnies to do his work.
Jacob was a slippery heel grasper and couldn’t be trusted. Moses couldn’t preach his way out of a wet paper bag. Solomon lost his mind. David stayed home chasing women instead of going to war. Peter was a big mouth. Thomas was as negative as they get. Judas was greedy to the point of betrayal.
It is amazing how God uses people who are less than perfect, make mistakes, and have limited ability. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to accept your mistake making less than perfect pastor, who is not a world renowned orator and do your best to make her look good. Talk about the things he does to help others. Listen to her sermon and comment on it in such a way that people know you listened. Build him up and you will be doing God’s work.
One Person's Ninny is another persons messiah ...
Before you are critical of your pastor remember that what you do can hurt and disillusion others as well as your pastor. People have come to faith because your pastor preached effectively or knelt with them at home or held their hand at the hospital. Somewhere between 20 - 100% of the people in your church love your pastor. If you bring him down in their eyes you damage their faith and guarantee disunity in the church. Be careful. Consider others before you try to save the Kingdom of God single-handedly.
Burning at the stake rarely improves performance
Beating your pastor up does not improve her ability to serve as your pastor. Pastors care very deeply about pleasing God and sometimes even more so about pleasing people. If there is information your pastor needs to know that will cause him to expect she might be a ninny, make sure it is in the context of 10 parts encouragement to 1 part criticism. A toasted pastor will often get testy in the pulpit ... Something you do not want.
You are most likely a ninny too
Looking back at the definition, it is likely you are a sincere caring soul who is also oblivious to much of what is happening in the church. Your pastor knows circumstances and information that you cannot know that explain why she does what he does. Give her the benefit of the doubt. If you are patient with him you will set an example that will be contagious in your church fellowship. You will then be the grateful recipient of this patience when someone notices you are a ninny.
First hand information turns into 2nd and 3rd hand about 6" from your lips
Be careful who you talk to. Every word you say and some you don’t say, will be broadcast over coffee, over the phone, over the internet over and over. The "sermon was boring message" turns into the pastor’s spouse got a nose ring in about 45 minutes. Talk to your pastor first. Sure she is scary but he needs to learn to listen just like you need to learn to talk directly to her. No one survives a gossip feeding frenzy so be careful little lips what you say and to whom they say it.
Maybe God is calling you to help ninnies
Someone needs to do it. Oblivious by definition calls for someone to help remove the oblivion. Be patient. Pastor types are not always easy to help. Often he thinks he is the messiah and needs some patient therapeutic reality checks. Often recognizing her oblivion will cause him great pain and you will need to encourage her. Being a former ninny, I know how much, they need patient, persistent, caring oblivion busters. Don’t give up on your pastor. Help him become even more effective in the work God has called her to.
As one pastor put it, “this is a tough gig”. I would submit that having a pastor is about as tough a gig as being a pastor. Once in awhile you run into a pastor who also happens to be a ninny. A ninny is a technical term defined as “a sincere tortured soul who loves God and is oblivious to a significant amount of what is happening in the church community where he/she serves.”
By that definition it is not whether your pastor is a ninny but rather how big a ninny is she. (I will alternate genders in case some ninny reads this and can’t sleep at night because he got more space than she) Most pastors have achieved some level of ninny-hood because: 1. People are afraid to talk to him 2. She doesn’t want people to talk to him. (Sticking to the alternate gender rule if it kills me and ruins the article (even more)) 3. People would rather gossip 4. People have tried to talk to her but he wouldn’t listen.
There are some important things to remember:
God calls ninnies to do his work.
Jacob was a slippery heel grasper and couldn’t be trusted. Moses couldn’t preach his way out of a wet paper bag. Solomon lost his mind. David stayed home chasing women instead of going to war. Peter was a big mouth. Thomas was as negative as they get. Judas was greedy to the point of betrayal.
It is amazing how God uses people who are less than perfect, make mistakes, and have limited ability. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to accept your mistake making less than perfect pastor, who is not a world renowned orator and do your best to make her look good. Talk about the things he does to help others. Listen to her sermon and comment on it in such a way that people know you listened. Build him up and you will be doing God’s work.
One Person's Ninny is another persons messiah ...
Before you are critical of your pastor remember that what you do can hurt and disillusion others as well as your pastor. People have come to faith because your pastor preached effectively or knelt with them at home or held their hand at the hospital. Somewhere between 20 - 100% of the people in your church love your pastor. If you bring him down in their eyes you damage their faith and guarantee disunity in the church. Be careful. Consider others before you try to save the Kingdom of God single-handedly.
Burning at the stake rarely improves performance
Beating your pastor up does not improve her ability to serve as your pastor. Pastors care very deeply about pleasing God and sometimes even more so about pleasing people. If there is information your pastor needs to know that will cause him to expect she might be a ninny, make sure it is in the context of 10 parts encouragement to 1 part criticism. A toasted pastor will often get testy in the pulpit ... Something you do not want.
You are most likely a ninny too
Looking back at the definition, it is likely you are a sincere caring soul who is also oblivious to much of what is happening in the church. Your pastor knows circumstances and information that you cannot know that explain why she does what he does. Give her the benefit of the doubt. If you are patient with him you will set an example that will be contagious in your church fellowship. You will then be the grateful recipient of this patience when someone notices you are a ninny.
First hand information turns into 2nd and 3rd hand about 6" from your lips
Be careful who you talk to. Every word you say and some you don’t say, will be broadcast over coffee, over the phone, over the internet over and over. The "sermon was boring message" turns into the pastor’s spouse got a nose ring in about 45 minutes. Talk to your pastor first. Sure she is scary but he needs to learn to listen just like you need to learn to talk directly to her. No one survives a gossip feeding frenzy so be careful little lips what you say and to whom they say it.
Maybe God is calling you to help ninnies
Someone needs to do it. Oblivious by definition calls for someone to help remove the oblivion. Be patient. Pastor types are not always easy to help. Often he thinks he is the messiah and needs some patient therapeutic reality checks. Often recognizing her oblivion will cause him great pain and you will need to encourage her. Being a former ninny, I know how much, they need patient, persistent, caring oblivion busters. Don’t give up on your pastor. Help him become even more effective in the work God has called her to.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Introduction to a Book ?
The masses have been clamoring for me to write a book. SO much so that, suffering from delusions of adequacy, I am making a feeble start. The book would be "When Life Shakes You Up" ... we shall see.
Introduction:
I was a late bloomer. It all started in 1955, as a five year old, beginning first grade. This was back in the dark ages before kindergarten. Five and six year olds were herded into class rooms, sat in rows, and taught the three R’s and other valuable life lessons. Not the least of which was the authority of teachers.
I was in the hospital for some reason during the first two weeks I should have been in school. My friends spent those weeks learning the ropes of Farnsworth elementary school. I arrived as a timid five year old, not even knowing there were ropes. I sat in the classroom scared and lost. Here I was not far removed from my first steps, and I now found myself in the first of twenty consecutive years of education.
Mrs. Murphy was a short, stout, dark haired, stern looking woman, who administered her classroom with an iron fist. The rules and directions were all new to me and I ended up in the wrong line or some other serious infraction. I guess she wanted to make sure I knew who was boss as she grabbed my arm and shoved me into my rightful place.
Every first grade child in those days was marked with the scab of the required small pox vaccination. Mrs. Murphy was careless enough, or sadistic enough, to grab on to my vaccination arm, opening the wound, which bled all down my arm. Somehow, this was my fault and I was scolded roundly for it.
This day was not my finest hour. I was too scared, of my new teacher to ask permission to use the boys room and the only alternative was to wet my pants. Again brought in front of the class, humiliated, and sent to “the office” on my first day of school. The memory fades as to what happened in “the office” but I think water boarding was legal back then.
Early in life I learned that life wasn’t fair ...and that “stuff “ happens. I learned experientially that the “stuff” of life can really shake you up. Not everyone has a sad poignant first grade story, but everyone has been shaken by life. You have cancer ... there has been a terrible accident ... a friend has betrayed you ... you have made wrong decisions that have led to a life time of pain.
How do you respond when life shakes you up ? This is an important question. As people of faith we can respond on purpose to whatever life brings our way. If our world is shattered and heart broken the reality of a loving God and the resources of His grace are still fully available. Decide now, ahead of time that the next time you are shaken by life, you will on purpose, respond with obedience, assurance, and dependence upon a loving personal God.
Introduction:
I was a late bloomer. It all started in 1955, as a five year old, beginning first grade. This was back in the dark ages before kindergarten. Five and six year olds were herded into class rooms, sat in rows, and taught the three R’s and other valuable life lessons. Not the least of which was the authority of teachers.
I was in the hospital for some reason during the first two weeks I should have been in school. My friends spent those weeks learning the ropes of Farnsworth elementary school. I arrived as a timid five year old, not even knowing there were ropes. I sat in the classroom scared and lost. Here I was not far removed from my first steps, and I now found myself in the first of twenty consecutive years of education.
Mrs. Murphy was a short, stout, dark haired, stern looking woman, who administered her classroom with an iron fist. The rules and directions were all new to me and I ended up in the wrong line or some other serious infraction. I guess she wanted to make sure I knew who was boss as she grabbed my arm and shoved me into my rightful place.
Every first grade child in those days was marked with the scab of the required small pox vaccination. Mrs. Murphy was careless enough, or sadistic enough, to grab on to my vaccination arm, opening the wound, which bled all down my arm. Somehow, this was my fault and I was scolded roundly for it.
This day was not my finest hour. I was too scared, of my new teacher to ask permission to use the boys room and the only alternative was to wet my pants. Again brought in front of the class, humiliated, and sent to “the office” on my first day of school. The memory fades as to what happened in “the office” but I think water boarding was legal back then.
Early in life I learned that life wasn’t fair ...and that “stuff “ happens. I learned experientially that the “stuff” of life can really shake you up. Not everyone has a sad poignant first grade story, but everyone has been shaken by life. You have cancer ... there has been a terrible accident ... a friend has betrayed you ... you have made wrong decisions that have led to a life time of pain.
How do you respond when life shakes you up ? This is an important question. As people of faith we can respond on purpose to whatever life brings our way. If our world is shattered and heart broken the reality of a loving God and the resources of His grace are still fully available. Decide now, ahead of time that the next time you are shaken by life, you will on purpose, respond with obedience, assurance, and dependence upon a loving personal God.
Monday, August 31, 2009
A Caution to Spiritual Formation Gurus and Evangelistic Zealots:
A Caution to Spiritual Formation Gurus and Evangelistic Zealots:
It is my observation that evangelistic activity, defined as the on purpose seeking to help bring as many people as possible to faith in Christ, is currently regarded very lightly. At the same time, there seems to be a strong emphasis on spiritual formation.
The danger is that these priorities become an either/or proposition. I came up with a pretty good quote, especially for parish pastors who want to see both evangelistic activity and spiritual formation within their Christian community. I would submit that every pastor is mandated to build both evangelistic activity and spiritual formation within his or her congregation.
In other words there is no true spiritual growth without a desire to actively help people move from non-faith to saving/reconciling faith. In the same way evangelism cannot be separated from a growing, deepening personal relationship with the resurrected Christ. Christians who are spiritually weak and shallow are a detriment to the Kingdom.
Any focus on spiritual formation must include evangelism as primary.
Any focus on evangelism must include spiritual formation as indispensable.
Hate to brag but I’m quoting myself. My next blog: “How I Came to Know Total Humility”
My observations true ... false ... inane ? Any ya-but responses? Thinking that quote ya-buts itself.
It is my observation that evangelistic activity, defined as the on purpose seeking to help bring as many people as possible to faith in Christ, is currently regarded very lightly. At the same time, there seems to be a strong emphasis on spiritual formation.
The danger is that these priorities become an either/or proposition. I came up with a pretty good quote, especially for parish pastors who want to see both evangelistic activity and spiritual formation within their Christian community. I would submit that every pastor is mandated to build both evangelistic activity and spiritual formation within his or her congregation.
In other words there is no true spiritual growth without a desire to actively help people move from non-faith to saving/reconciling faith. In the same way evangelism cannot be separated from a growing, deepening personal relationship with the resurrected Christ. Christians who are spiritually weak and shallow are a detriment to the Kingdom.
Any focus on spiritual formation must include evangelism as primary.
Any focus on evangelism must include spiritual formation as indispensable.
Hate to brag but I’m quoting myself. My next blog: “How I Came to Know Total Humility”
My observations true ... false ... inane ? Any ya-but responses? Thinking that quote ya-buts itself.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Institutional Church
Left this comment on a friend's blog site, http://jamescopple-the-seeker.com/, thought I would put it here as well.
I have been a parish pastor for 28 years and have been early retired, ie on disability, with Parkinson’s disease, for the past 5 years. I am beginning to realize how much I have lived within my own small spiritual ecosystem and not needed to interact with the institution from a different perspective. I am finding that it is alarmingly rare for Christians to have a relationship with the institutional church while sharing a corporate vision and having some sense of involvement in the nature and direction of that congregational vision.
Too long a sentence, but I think I see a great deal of defensiveness and even aggression against the congregational peons by leadership. To me, a servant leader procures most of his/her authority from a shared , God given vision on the congregational level. I’m not sure if I am seeing this because I’m getting old and crotchety or just seeing things more accurately now that I am in a different position.
I am SURE my friend Jim is right, however, the Church is hard to be around but the world would be lost without it.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
More Than a Clunker
More Than a Clunker
God really does take care of those who follow Him. We are king’s kids and “he don’t want us driving no junk”. In spite of the fact that I am a retired pastor on disability, putting kids through college, on a fixed income, my wife and I just love our shiny black Lincoln Continental. We enjoy the V8 power, recline in the plush leather seats, relax in air conditioned comfort as we drive on the air soft suspension.
The fact that our Lincoln is 14 years old does not take away from any of the comfort we enjoy. We are genuinely thankful for our shiny old black Lincoln Continental. It strikes me how much more we can appreciate and enjoy material things as a follower of Christ. There is no doubt in my mind that we enjoy that 14 year old car many times more than the wealthiest executive on the fanciest private jet on the way to Washington. So already the Lincoln in the driveway is more than a clunker.
It was sad news when my wife called after a suicidal deer on a dark road chose to take his final leap in front of a big black Lincoln. The bumper was damaged, grill cracked, the full light assembly was damaged, the fiber glass hood and fender were both cracked. There were no injuries aside from the poor troubled deer but immediately “Cash for Clunkers” ran through my mind. Our particular car did not qualify, however, so we began to consider repair.
I began checking online for salvage parts, looked up the number of a friend who helped with a previous accident, trying to figure out what we could or should do. The parts even from a salvage yard would be well over $1,000 plus shipping. The new parts would need to be painted etc. etc. It was looking like clunker heaven for our black, shiny favorite car. It was obviously in God’s hands and we live with the confidence that He does provide for His children. I had been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease 9 years ago. We were looking at 15 to 20 years of income that would not come in. God has His ways. Somehow we live in a beautiful, small house of our own and have put four children through college and we eat 3 or 4 meals almost every day. So we knew that God does indeed work. We prayed for His direction.
A couple days later there was a knock on my door (guess he couldn’t figure out how to put the two wires together to ring the door bell ... got to fix that door bell). Looking out the front window I could see two 1995 black shiny Lincolns in my driveway. A man was at the door telling me that he was getting rid of his 1995 black Lincoln Continental and wanted to know if I wanted to buy his tires. I looked his car over and told him that I didn’t really need tires but I could use the rest of his car. Well his car was going to be clunked on Saturday and it was then Thursday night.
I called my good friend John who is a mechanic/carpenter/ handy man do most anything kind of guy. John has been battling cancer for the past year and a half . The initial news was that he had 6 to 8 weeks to live. The prognosis is still terminal but by the grace of God he is a shining witness to the reality of genuine faith. He had received a debilitating chemo-therapy treatment a few days before but said he would be glad to help. Tony is the Dad of a handicapped child that my wife cares for as a nurse, who just happens to have a full shop with a lift and everything needed to do the work. Tony just happened to have the day off and was willing to help.
The next day John and I drove two Lincolns over the Tony’s shop to swap the damaged parts with the providentially provided parts salvaged from an about to be cashed in, clunker. The next 6 hours we extracted and replaced hundreds of screws, clips, belts, and our well beloved luxury car looked new again. There was much more that happened during those 6 hours. How inspiring it was that John very easily as one friend to another shared with Tony how the love and strength from God had made the last year and a half the best months of his life. There was a bonding that happened as three men were blessed to be part of God’s working as only He can work.
I don’t fully understand the workings of God’s providence. Does God hunt deer with Lincoln Continentals? Does He always deliver car parts? Is every stubbed toe an act of God? When I think too much about it my brain starts to hurt. I guess I don’t really understand God’s providence much at all.
There are, however, some things I do know ... or maybe more accurately ...there are some things I “faith”. I know that God was at work in all these things for good. My wife and I look ahead to an uncertain future dealing with Parkinson’s disease. What a beautiful re-assurance that God’s “eye” is upon us. We are stronger in the faith that he will continue to work for our good.
A good Catholic man knows, by faith, that God had sent him to knock on my door to deliver His car parts. He was excited as well that his shiny black Lincoln could be an organ donor before the fatal clunking. My friend John, so close to heaven, had another opportunity to splash joy and peace all over the driveway as we worked. Tony was more than a bit splashed on. The God of creation has received honor a glory as we retell the story of a special delivery from God’s Salvage Yard Inc.
And we are cruisin’ in our Lincoln still.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Let Down
All in all, I'd rather have people fail me than the other way around. quote by Keving Lynch or he is quoting someone else :)
Monday, August 24, 2009
How to Use a Wheelbarrow
John Stevens was the chief engineer of the incredible Panama Canal Project in the early 1900's. There were up to 40,000 workers at one time, from Asia, the Caribbean, Europe and the great urban centers of the United States. Building understanding and cooperation among such a diverse group was a challenge.
Soon after his arrival, he saw three West Indians at work with a wheelbarrow. When the wheelbarrow was full, two of them hoisted it onto the head of the third man who carried it away. The Path Between the Seas, John McCullough
Someone had the patience and perseverance to teach these workers how to use a wheelbarrow. As a result billions of tons of earth were moved in completing what was considered an impossible task. Ministry is an impossible task, in which a loving personal God patiently teaches us to use the tools that He provides. The call is then to share the heart of this loving personal God by faithfully instructing others in the use of the tools He provides to build His Kingdom.
Hang in there. Don't become weary in patiently teaching people the principles of faith. They will learn the simple basic things and do the impossible in ministry.
Soon after his arrival, he saw three West Indians at work with a wheelbarrow. When the wheelbarrow was full, two of them hoisted it onto the head of the third man who carried it away. The Path Between the Seas, John McCullough
Someone had the patience and perseverance to teach these workers how to use a wheelbarrow. As a result billions of tons of earth were moved in completing what was considered an impossible task. Ministry is an impossible task, in which a loving personal God patiently teaches us to use the tools that He provides. The call is then to share the heart of this loving personal God by faithfully instructing others in the use of the tools He provides to build His Kingdom.
Hang in there. Don't become weary in patiently teaching people the principles of faith. They will learn the simple basic things and do the impossible in ministry.
Do Something
The year was 1905 and the work on the Panama Cabal was in disarray. John Findley Wallace had resigned as chief engineer. Theodore Roosevelt had appointed John Stevens, chief engineer of the Great Northern Railway stretching from Chicago, as head of operations in Panama.
John Findley was a man of action. His interviews of his closest associates were brief. "I am hiring you to do something" he would say, "you will not get fired for doing something. You will get fired for doing nothing. Doing something wrong can be corrected. There is no way to correct nothing". The Path Between the Seas, David McCullough
Be encouraged and challenged to do something and if you make any mistakes, make sure they are new mistakes.
John Findley was a man of action. His interviews of his closest associates were brief. "I am hiring you to do something" he would say, "you will not get fired for doing something. You will get fired for doing nothing. Doing something wrong can be corrected. There is no way to correct nothing". The Path Between the Seas, David McCullough
Be encouraged and challenged to do something and if you make any mistakes, make sure they are new mistakes.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Nazarene Nirvana
Nazarene Nirvana
We live in a consumer society. Although I consider myself less focused on material possession and consumption than the typical greedy American, I can be one of those consumer type people when necessary. General Assembly is one of those times.
Upon arriving at my upscale $150 plus hotel room, my wife and I walked in, looked around, and I wondered to myself … where is the rest of the room. No matter how much I looked, there couldn’t have been more than $75 worth of room there and half the closet seemed to be missing. My annoyance list started to grow with an extra fee for internet and exercise room, ten year old television, tiny little pieces of soap, cheesy little coffee creamers. Certainly I expected more consumables for my buck.
After lunch we decided to look around for a $75 room that would also $75. Next door was a $69 room, free internet, complimentary breakfast with a flat screen television. It was tempting but the pool was the wrong color of green. The next hotel had $109 rooms with new television, fridge, microwave and close to the convention. We took a card and went back to our mini-$150 room.
Making a long story short, we decided to stay in the upscale hotel. The scale was tipped by the beautiful large pool (which was the right shade of blue) and a large foyer, crowded with Nazarenes to meet and greet. Sure enough, we met Steve and Tina from Michigan, Andy from Illinois, I ran into several friends I had not seen for many years. It was Nazarene Nirvana and I liked it. It was fun, relaxing, and we felt like the right decision was made.
The next morning I woke up with two jumbled, related but dissimilar thoughts. The first was the irony of consuming a couple thousand dollars getting together to further the work of compassionate ministry to the “have nots” of our world. The word obscene popped into my head, wondering if that could be a word used by our brothers and sisters from other world areas to describe the affluence. I pushed that word out of my mind. The path way to negativity and cynicism is slippery indeed.
The second was the annoyance of waking up in a pricey hotel where the neighbors wake up call did the job in my room as well. This hotel exists for my benefit, comfort, and convenience. The information in our room instructs to dial “88” if we can do anything for you. The temptation was strong but room expansion and spare closets are not likely what they had in mind.
It struck me that, I really do like to “have it my way.” Guilt is overused and often abused by we preacher types, but a bit of guilt, properly placed can be a very positive thing. “WWJT” came to mind. “What Would Jesus Think" about all this excess, in relation to the crying global need ?
A still small voice intruded on my thoughts saying you need to get back to WWJD Maybe it would be a good thing in my few days in my $150 Motel 6 type room, to DO what Jesus would DO.
Perhaps I could back away from the negative or cynical and pray for the maid that cleans my room, be patient with the waitress that is slow, be an encouragement among this amazing gathering of the family of God. So I find myself praying Lord, give the grace to live for you, love your people, and care for your world. The extra closet? I am thinking there might be more important things.
We live in a consumer society. Although I consider myself less focused on material possession and consumption than the typical greedy American, I can be one of those consumer type people when necessary. General Assembly is one of those times.
Upon arriving at my upscale $150 plus hotel room, my wife and I walked in, looked around, and I wondered to myself … where is the rest of the room. No matter how much I looked, there couldn’t have been more than $75 worth of room there and half the closet seemed to be missing. My annoyance list started to grow with an extra fee for internet and exercise room, ten year old television, tiny little pieces of soap, cheesy little coffee creamers. Certainly I expected more consumables for my buck.
After lunch we decided to look around for a $75 room that would also $75. Next door was a $69 room, free internet, complimentary breakfast with a flat screen television. It was tempting but the pool was the wrong color of green. The next hotel had $109 rooms with new television, fridge, microwave and close to the convention. We took a card and went back to our mini-$150 room.
Making a long story short, we decided to stay in the upscale hotel. The scale was tipped by the beautiful large pool (which was the right shade of blue) and a large foyer, crowded with Nazarenes to meet and greet. Sure enough, we met Steve and Tina from Michigan, Andy from Illinois, I ran into several friends I had not seen for many years. It was Nazarene Nirvana and I liked it. It was fun, relaxing, and we felt like the right decision was made.
The next morning I woke up with two jumbled, related but dissimilar thoughts. The first was the irony of consuming a couple thousand dollars getting together to further the work of compassionate ministry to the “have nots” of our world. The word obscene popped into my head, wondering if that could be a word used by our brothers and sisters from other world areas to describe the affluence. I pushed that word out of my mind. The path way to negativity and cynicism is slippery indeed.
The second was the annoyance of waking up in a pricey hotel where the neighbors wake up call did the job in my room as well. This hotel exists for my benefit, comfort, and convenience. The information in our room instructs to dial “88” if we can do anything for you. The temptation was strong but room expansion and spare closets are not likely what they had in mind.
It struck me that, I really do like to “have it my way.” Guilt is overused and often abused by we preacher types, but a bit of guilt, properly placed can be a very positive thing. “WWJT” came to mind. “What Would Jesus Think" about all this excess, in relation to the crying global need ?
A still small voice intruded on my thoughts saying you need to get back to WWJD Maybe it would be a good thing in my few days in my $150 Motel 6 type room, to DO what Jesus would DO.
Perhaps I could back away from the negative or cynical and pray for the maid that cleans my room, be patient with the waitress that is slow, be an encouragement among this amazing gathering of the family of God. So I find myself praying Lord, give the grace to live for you, love your people, and care for your world. The extra closet? I am thinking there might be more important things.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
I now have a blog sight. My son Jonathan set me up so I can share some of the profound, perplexing, interesting, humorous, sobering aspects of ministry in the Christian church. Seems like everyone thinks people are dying to hear what they have to say ... we shall see.
My first entry is a sermon, article, personal account of God's working in my life in dealing with a diagnosis of Parkinson's Disease 9 years ago ... "When Life Shakes You Up" It's longer than future posts ... it's a start.
My first entry is a sermon, article, personal account of God's working in my life in dealing with a diagnosis of Parkinson's Disease 9 years ago ... "When Life Shakes You Up" It's longer than future posts ... it's a start.
When Life Shakes You Up
I was a student-athlete in college. Warming the bench is an important role on any team ... even the JV team of a small Christian College needed a few spare bodies giving some semblance of a team. My good friend Dan and I ... sitting on the end of the bench... backslapping... opponent mocking... anything for the team. It was not particularly glamorous but was a legitimate alternative to serious study and I think free socks were part of the deal.
I always considered myself at least a semi-athlete, which means I could normally keep up with the over weight slow guys in the gym. Playing sports well into my forties... I planned to be running with the kids when I was 60. Suddenly the large slow people seemed much quicker. Seeing 50 lbs. of overweight former athlete roll on by was more than a bit disconcerting.
There were other changes. As the pastor of a busy church, I found my stamina severely affected. My planning and organization seemed to be less and less effective. Routine tasks took twice as long. My handwriting was getting worse and worse. Knowing that a sloppy signature indicated an advanced level of education, I was pleased that could pass as well educated by signature alone. Friends and family started to nag... why are you limping... why don't you swing your arm when you walk... is your arm hurt? Why are you shuffling your feet.
One day I went to pick up a dish and was unable to do so. The previous Sunday I had fallen at church bruising myself badly. It looked like something needed attention. I went to the doctor who ordered an MRI. They took all kinds of pictures of my brain... perfectly normal they said... it was good to have confirmation... my kids have never been too sure. The next step was a visit to the neurologist who went through the basic neurological movement type diagnostics and informed me matter-of-factly that I had early Parkinson's disease. Quickly analyzing the situation... it struck me that early Parkinson's disease is a lot like... just like... real Parkinson's disease. All kinds of words came to my mind... debilitating... devastating... discouraging... and probably some more d words I can't think of even though I had been producing 3 point sermons alliterated with d for 25 years. He gave me a prescription and said to come back in a few months.
What does a neurologist in Poughkeepsie New York know after all. I am one hour away from one of the top movement disorder centers in the world... Columbia Presbyterian Hospital in Manhattan. We set an appointment and believe it or not they did the same diagnostics and came to the same to its conclusion except they didn’t call it early Parkinson's... they called it Parkinson's disease.
Parkinson's is a disease of the brain. A definitive cause has not been identified although evidence points toward a combination of genetic pre-disposition and exposure to some environmental toxin. Whatever the cause, the brain cells which produce dopamine begin to die off. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter which enables the messages to travel from the brain to the various parts of the body. By the time a Parkinson's patient shows any symptoms 80% of these dopamine producing cells have died off. From that point on the disease gets worse and there is no cure.
The most common symptom is tremor... usually starting at one side... often in the hand and then progressing to the rest of the body. 15 to 20% of Parkinson's patients never get tremor. Other symptoms of Parkinson's disease are stiffness, slowness of movement, confusion, memory loss, instability leading to falls, aches & pains, and difficulty writing. Any function of the body can be affected. Breathing, swallowing, digesting, bladder control ... all can be affected or slowed down by Parkinsin=s Disease aka PD.
Driving home from the neurologist, I was shaking my head. These are the kinds of things that happen to other people. Over the years I've preached that instead of saying why me when the trials come... the question is why not me? We live in a fallen world. Disease is not God's plan. Even as followers of God the sins of our fathers for generation after generation have a devastating effect.
I had a plan for my retirement years. I was going to work real hard so I could retire at 65, settle in to a church with a small stipend and I would spend my time doing all the things I loved to do as a pastor. The tough assignments would fall to the young senior pastor. Some days, I couldn=t wait. That was my plan. Suddenly the horizon had changed. Kids in college, no house to Iive in, no job, uncertainty. The plan had changed.
What do you do in life shakes you up? How do you live when the plan changes? There are all kinds of coping mechanisms … denial. gallows humor. busyness. blame. anger. bitterness. What do you do when life shakes you up? Facing an incurable diagnosis, losing a promotion, hurting emotions, despairing of hope... there are some principles to live by.
Face the Facts
Christians have been accused of hiding their heads in the sand. In no way is Christian faith some sort of spiritualized denial mechanism. Any denial of the difficult realities of life is a denial of the adequacy of Christ in whom we place our faith. Jesus is the cornerstone of our faith. He did not come to live among us to escape real-life but to get all wrapped up in realities of a world full of sin, oppression, and injustice... seeking to save those who are lost.
When you lose your job... face the facts. When stricken with illness don't act as though it doesn't exist. When you fail... Afess@ up... face the music... suffer the embarrassment. When you sin, don't pretend it's a mistake, confess the sin. There's no way to deal with the things that shake your life until you look them straight in the eye. (pink slips, diagnoses, rejection, and other trials certainly must have eyes ... They find us so readily)
Faith in God does not change the circumstances. Faith in God does not make us fearless. Faith in God does not make us perfect. Faith gives additional strength... from God. Faith gives a game plan... the guidance from God. Faith gives support ... in the family of God. Faith gives hope... in eternal life. So it is because of Faith we can face life head on.
Face the facts. Don't try to defend God. Don't make up some high sounding explanation why God took the life of a young child. Be real. The world needs to see real people with broken hearts with a faith that is real. Anything the world offers for the broken hearted will pale in comparison to a heart, just as broken, filled with faith love and hope.
Accept the Feelings
The way of Christ is a way of great joy. There is within Christian circles, however, a combination of misconception and misrepresentation that produces a false appearance of joy. The misconception is that Christians never stop smiling. This distortion of reality is reinforced ... by the smiling Christians on television, the pastor who is always up every Sunday. (You should see the same pastor on Monday morning) and by the false application of scripture. So often Christians carry an unrealistic burden that goes far beyond trust and obey but rather leads to a facade that refuses to let anyone see their broken hearts. When there is death don=t deny the sorrow. When there's injustice don't pretend there is no anger. When you are weak don't pretend you are not discouraged. Be a real person.
The misrepresentation happens every Sunday morning. Broken hearts all camouflaged by “Sunday go to meeting clothes” and a hearty handshake. Christians are too busy to be real. Do we allow Christians in our fellowship to be sad? Do we allow them to go through times of fear without judging their spirituality?
I felt somewhat less than spiritual as I faced my nemesis of PD. I was puzzled and upset ... OK angry. Why would God allow a faithful pastor, wannabe athlete, humorous, very bright, and extremely humble to get Parkinson=s disease? It doesn’t make sense. It certainly wasn=t my idea. What possible good can come from an early retirement in the prime of my life. Just when I can run circles around those old guys up at the alumni basketball game.
Accept the feelings. Feel the feelings. God gave you feelings to help identify areas of need in your life. If you Afeel@ tired, you need rest. If you Afeel@ sorrow, you need to mourn. If you Afeel@ lonely, you need a friend. Feelings will either heal or destroy. Feelings denied, repressed, or ignored have a devastating effect on your relationship with God, relationship with others, interpersonal integrity and serenity. Don=t pretend. Pretending isolates the real you from those who can help and care for you. Maintaining a facade takes great resources that are needed for facing life head on.
Don=t be afraid of tears, they as well are God=s gift. Jesus wept, his heart was broken. I had never really wept, until I faced the facts and began to feel some feelings. I would never be a pastor again. I would never preach again. I may have to leave my church family. So much of what I loved was gone. It was all over and I wept for 3 hours. God was there and I faced the reality with him. He has been there every step before and after that time of sorrow.
Count Your Blessings
How easy it is to be so focused on the trial that we lose sight of the blessings. A quarter, when held close to one eye will block off sight totally. When life shakes you up, it is easy to focus on the trial alone. The truth is, there is much more to reality than the present problem. The blessings are just as real.
Counting blessings is not denial; it is recognizing Aon purpose@ the good in the midst of the tragedy. How many blessings are yours in Christ? God does not change. The psalmist says I will look unto the hills (as majestic as they are) but my help does not come from the hillsides. My help comes from the Lord who is more trust worthy than the majestic Rocky Mountains.
The promises of God in scripture are a daily blessing. God=s promise in 2nd Peter that he will give you Aall you need@ for life and godliness. God=s strength is shown clearly in time of greatest weakness. The time of trial is an amazing opportunity to received God=s grace. In the struggles and pain of an incurable disease, I have received more grace and love through God=s people than I ever imagined.
Don=t escape from the reality of life=s blessings. They are a gift from God. The blessings and grace will keep you strong and encouraged when struggles come your way.
Live Your Faith
Years ago Reuben Welch wrote a book entitled, When You Run Out of Fantastic ... Persevere. Life is not always fantastic but we need never quit. Robert Schuller speaks of two principles of success 1. Get started 2. Don=t quit. When many disciples were leaving Jesus, Peter decided to stay ... Why? ... Where else would we go? You (Jesus) have the words of eternal life. The tempter will especially use your time of weakness to draw you away from the foundation of Christ. In your deepest pain ... keep worshiping God, keep close to his people, allow his word to hold you up. Your faith in Christ is just as real in the valleys of life as it is on the mountain top.
We were stricken with grief at the passing of my mother 20 years ago. As we made our way through the airport terminal to pick up a family member, my Dad stopped and helped a man who was confused with directions. “Can I help?” he asked. In his time of overwhelming grief, he helped a confused traveler find his way. The practical caring of a broken hearted Jesus person is a powerful testimony to the working of God=s grace in the worst of times. Decide now how you will live when (not if) the times of trouble come your way. Decide to walk with a personal God when your feelings are low, your body is in pain, and you feel alone. Don=t abandon your faith ... Live your faith
Trust Your Future to God
Why so downcast old my soul... put your hope in God. We sing this song with great enthusiasm. We celebrate our hope in God through praise and worship. We are in a positive up frame of mind as we celebrate. We are together ... clapping our hands. There is a really cool drum part when we sing this song.
The direction of scripture to Aput your hope in God@ is even more important when you don=t feel like praising. Trusting in the loving kindness of our eternal God is even more vital, when you feel alone, when you face your greatest failure. There are many questions that remain unanswered as you look into the future. If you live in fear of the uncertain future, you will be paralyzed and live in despair. The answer is to trust God rather than your own resources. His resources, help, and grace never run out.
A quote from No Man is an Island clarifies the choice to be made. “If, instead of trusting in God, I trust only in my own intelligence, my own strength, and my own prudence, the means that God has given to me to find my way to him will all fail me. To place your trust in visible things is to live in despair. We can either love God because we hope for something from him, or we can hope in him knowing that he loves us”.
There are some things we can know for sure. God=s love is a foundation stone upon which we can step with confidence. God=s promise from Jeremiah reminds us AI know the plans I have for you, plans to help you not to harm you, to give you a hope and a future.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)