The Blame Game

Blame as a response to crisis ...


Blame is closely related to bitterness. Blame is the perverse consuming need to attach a name, personality, or institution to the cultivated anger which is bitterness. We have asked the question; “Why would we ever cultivate feelings of anger when they produce such bitterness?” In the same way we can ask the question; “Why would we ever focus so much on establishing blame when it produces an ever deepening bitterness.

In blame, nefarious motives are assigned to the blamee, whoever or whatever that may be. In a self absorbed way, we foster a sense of, “my life and happiness are important” and he/she, they, God, (fill in the blank) has no right to disturb that. Can you see a pattern developing where a faith-less response turns us inward and away from the resources of God and toward the poverty of self sufficiency? Whereas, a faith response turns us away from the sink hole of self focus and toward the love, grace, and strength of God himself.

Did I mention, to let me know when you are tired of my personal stories? My son Jonathan is presently in Nairobi, Kenya for six months of volunteer service. He is teaching in the African Nazarene University, consulting with student government leaders and helping in any way he can.

We got a note just last week, “Hey Mom I am very sick. I don’t know what it is, but it’s bad.” That is not what you want to hear from a son on the other side of the world. He had fever, aching, nausea, loss of appetite and was expelling remnants of human ingestion from all directions. Our biggest fears were malaria which would be with him for the rest of his life and typhoid fever which could be 4-6 weeks of high fever, pain, and weakness. The good news was that it was neither of these diseases. The bad news was that he had an amoeba.

I googled amoeba disease and the first headline I saw was:

“6 die from brain-eating amoeba after swimming”

PHOENIX - It sounds like science fiction but it’s true: A killer amoeba living in lakes enters the body through the nose and attacks the brain where it feeds until you die . . .

These amoebae are one cell protozoa that are ingested in the drinking water especially in developing countries. They set up homestead in the digestive system for an incubation period and then reproduce and make their way to the liver, pancreas, kidney and brain. Fortunately the amoebae in question were of the less virulent strain and have been routinely treated with amoebacide medication.

If these invasive parasites were not eliminated they would have multiplied and affected the whole body. Bitterness is an invasive parasite that will reproduce and infect every area of life. By establishing blame, we setup a target upon which to direct our anger. The result is an environment for the unwelcome invader of bitterness to multiply and intensify. We do not face the facts, rather we spend our time and energy blaming rather than responding in faith. Purposely turning away from the blame game and turning toward a faith response is a necessary step in facing the realities of life with grace, strength, and resolve.

Panic

Another common and less than positive response to crisis is panic. We had a gang of young boys growing up in our town just outside of Boston. This was gang activity in the best sense of the word. These were the unenlightened days of the late 50’s so it was politically correct to play cops and robbers, cowboys and Indians, knights of the round table, NFL football but the thing we loved most was “raiding the girls”. The girls would be playing house or whatever other girly thing they happened to be doing and we would swoop in as marauding bandits, over turn their tea set, frighten their dolls and generally wreak havoc and misery upon their existence.

Well we were enjoying our raid this one particular day when the ground began to rumble and here comes Mr. LeBrun. He was big and we thought ugly and very mad ... steam from his ears ... froth from his mouth ... coming to save the girls and demolish the enemy. Well it was fight or flight time and knowing that fight was not an option I burst into all out flight mode. I began to run ... and lo and behold he starts chasing me ... did he not know my older brother was the ring leader of this nefarious plot? I Put my head down, ducked into a neighboring nursery and began running thru the trees. He was getting closer, I could feel his hot breath on my neck. He was just about to get me when I found myself spinning my legs in mid air ... not unlike Wiley Coyote in the Road Runner cartoon. I had run straight of the precipice of a sheer cliff and was sure I would fall to my death, landing flat on my back after a frightening fall of at least 4 - 5 feet. When things get tough the easiest thing to do is panic ... worry ourselves sick ... do something stupid ... take things in our own hands ... run off a cliff in fear.

We don’t need to panic. We are not alone as our God is an ever present help in time of trouble. We are not alone as the family of God is a help and support. A loving God sends his Spirit to comfort, strengthen, and lead. We have a guide in the words of God and as we listen and seek the wisdom of an infinite God he will show us the next step to take when life shakes you up.

I am quite sure the next step taken in obedient response to the words of God will not be off a cliff. Then what we find is that our place of greatest fear and danger is most often the place of greatest blessing.

…  our place of greatest fear and danger is most often the place of greatest blessing.

Real Life Ain't Disney World

I love Disney World. Every employee is ingrained with the core value that the guests are the most important people on earth. Everyone smiles. There is a sense of peacefulness that is not reproduced in the typical theme park. Employees do not rush into work, throwing on their apron at the last minute. Rather they are actors who enter the park through specially camouflaged doors. I love Disney world but I couldn’t live there. It is nice but not real.

People do not always smile at you. Good fortune does not always fill your life with sunlight. There are times when the darkness of pain, trial, suffering and injustice consumes your existence. Facing the facts, living by faith involves an acceptance of the trials and suffering of life … not a pain free life but a deep rich abundant life. Accepting the facts is more than a passive endurance of pain but is also a decisive turning from a self absorbed obsession/pre-occupation with personal comfort, convenience and pleasure. It is as we accept and even embrace the reality of suffering that we come to know and understand God’s working in us.

It is in the real finite struggles of life that an infinite God reveals his love, grace, and power to us as well as to those around us. Skye Jethani quotes Dallas Willard, “We are not to try to get in a position to avoid trials. And we are not to ‘catastrophize’ and declare the ‘end of the world’ when things happen." Jethani goes on to say, “the trials of ordinary existence are the divine curricula for spiritual maturity. These are the laser beams God uses to put our old self, with it’s misappropriated desires, to death and then resurrect a new self with new desires focused on a more lasting joy." In other words although I really prefer comfort and a painless existence … that is neither my deepest need nor the way of greatest happiness. My greatest joy is in facing the trials with the empowerment, grace, inner strength and joy of a practical relationship with a personal God.